13. Plans

Dear readers,

This week I thought I shall talk to you about my weird relationship with plans and why, in a way, I’ve stopped planning. The best things happen to me when they are not planned or when I don’t put too much thought into the said plan. And, planned things never go as planned. Initially, I hated it. I hated not being in control of what was happening. I hated the fact that things never go as I wanted them to. But now, I am that used to it that I find it amusing. Because, 8 out 10 times, when things aren’t planned, I make the best memories. In a way, I have stopped planning. Which may seem stupid to a few of you, but for me, I look at it with a “what’s the point” attitude.

Last week would be the best example for when I say best things happen when I don’t plan anything. It all started with me complaining about how I wanted to go for this concert and that nobody was “free” to come along. And one among my close friends at college instantly said yes to coming along if I would go. This spontaneous decision that I made (still having to convince my parents, but I knew they wouldn’t mind) lead to me having probably one among the best nights of my life. It was daunting at first, but an hour into the concert, I didn’t care and I had a blast. The fact that Farhan Akhtar was just a few metres away from me is still something that I can’t comprehend, fully. Absolutely love and adore that man. Not in a cute-crush kind of way. I love that man with utmost admiration. And I can proudly say that my first concert was a ‘Farhan Akhtar’ concert 😉

When I said that things never go as planned, I meant that 90% of the time I plan something, it never goes as planned. Again let’s look at last week for an example. I spent 48 hours studying something that wasn’t even supposed to be studied. It’s funny now, but when I found out what I had done, I was so annoyed and done with life (not really). Every time I try to make plans with most of my friends, it never happens. Someone is not in town or someone falls sick or someone has exams, and in the end, we end up cancelling the whole idea of going out. It’s always been instantaneous or planned maximum, two days before I go out with them.

Everyone is always asking me questions about what I want to do in the future, rather what I’ll be doing in 18 months, to be exact. Sometimes I just say something, just to keep them from giving me a lecture about how I should plan what I want to do and how irresponsible it is of me to not plan and think of my future. It is not that I am not thinking about my future, at all. I am. But, for now, I’d just like to keep it to myself. I haven’t told anyone, my family even, about what I want to do, because one, I don’t like saying something unless I am dead sure about what I am speaking, especially when it comes to things like my future. Two, I don’t want to make a decision this early and regret it later because I’m still exploring my options. Ask me 10-12 months before, not 18 months before. Not much of a difference, but me being me, I’d have put a lot more thought into what I’m saying after 6-7 months’ worth of thoughts. And three, what if I plan something now, and again, just like all my plans, this plan also doesn’t go as planned? And, looking at my history, it mostly likely won’t go as planned.

Realistic Beginner.

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