17. Lacking Competitiveness

Dear readers,

This week was such an eventful week and I have done a few things I’d never done in my life before and I guess that’s what makes this week a memorable one. One day, when I talk about my life to my grand children, this week will definitely be mentioned.

I have always been a lover of life. Look around you. What’s not to love? I love life, which is why I’m almost always in a good mood. I’m always having a good time. I’m always cracking lame jokes. I’m always smiling. I’m always singing and dancing and crushing over several celebrities and singers and sportsmen. Maybe that’s why I’m not a competitive person. Which is funny, because I love sports. (It’s funny how I found me not being competitive in life, funny) I’m never a competitive person. Like, I’ll give my all. I’ll be disappointed if I don’t win anything. But, I won’t ever be sad about losing. Because, doing the said thing matters more than winning, if I’m honest.

Sometimes, I feel that me lacking the competitive spirit makes me a very laid back person in life and that’s not always a good thing. It gives out the “I don’t care enough about it” vibe. Which is not true. I do care enough. But, I’m not competitive about it. Even in relationships that I have with every individual, I never show that I’m possessive about them and maybe it’s a bad thing, maybe it’s not. For example, if my family or close friends are talking to someone else, I’d never be angry or jealous, because I know they’re always going to come back to me. May also tell me what happened. That’s how I guess I can say that I trust that individual. And you may ask, what if they don’t come back? To that I’d say that, then they don’t come back. Then that particular relation/bonding wasn’t meant to be (sometimes easier said than done, but not impossible).

Being competitive may be something that I lack. But that doesn’t mean that I’ll never fight for what I want, fight for what’s mine, fight for what I want to do in life, fight for myself, fight for my family, fight for my friends, fight for what I think is right, fight for what/whom I love. Nobody can make me do something I don’t want to do. Some may call this as being ‘stubborn’, but that’s just who I am.

But if I’m being honest, I want to be competitive. I want to be competitive with myself. I want to grow. Be better. I want to learn how to be competitive in life. Positive competition. Healthy competition. I don’t want to be a very chilled, laid back person in life, because some say that it is very important to be competitive in life to get more done in life. And I’ve always wanted to do more in life. I guess I should find and learn ways to bring out the competitive spirit that’s currently lacking. Feel free to drop some suggestions, I’m all ears. Hope you had a great week and good luck for the coming week. Kick ass.

Realistic Beginner.

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