56. Afraid: Not Knowing

Dear readers,

This week regular classes for my last semester have begun. Things have already started piling up, I need to be on my toes already. I need to also figure out proper time slots and remain organised if I need to get everything done. Not really aiming for getting up at a particular time or sleeping at a particular time, but getting the daily things done is what the overall goal is going to be.

This Sunday, I thought I shall speak about fear. Specifically, fear about things I don’t know/understand. I have learnt about myself recently that whenever I don’t know something, I fear it. One among the reasons why I fear my anxiety attacks are because I haven’t really figured out why I have them. If I don’t know how to play a game in the initial stages, I fear it. If I don’t know anyone and I fear speaking with them. If I don’t know a concept in my syllabus, I start fearing it. If I don’t know the answer to a particular question someone is asking me, I start fearing it. So, basically I start fear things, people or anything I don’t know.

Now let me explain this fear. I start sweating, my chest starts hurting, a weird sensation in my stomach, my heartbeat starts increasing, I start getting nauseous and my mouth feels dry and if I’m alone. This fear often leads to self doubt which hinders functioning.

I feel this every time I start anything new, as well. I don’t really know how to tackle it. And I haven’t really pondered about the why. It was like a new enlightenment when I was having a conversation with someone close. If there’s anything you would like to add with respect to this blog or give solutions that might work for this problem, please feel free to write about it in the comment section below. Have a great week ahead.

Realistic Beginner.

8 thoughts on “56. Afraid: Not Knowing

  1. One time someone told me something about fear that I found to be true. This might especially ring some truth for you. He said fear is the only thing that gets smaller as you get closer to it. Yep, a mountain the closer the bigger it gets but fear as I get closer to the problem it starts to shrink and in your case, as you become familiar with the situation it starts to shrink.

    But I really think with experience comes confidence that you will get thru as you have 20 times before 100 times a 1000 times before. The unfamiliar situation is familiar because you’ve been in it so many times before.

    You sound like a person who is really concerned with getting things right and apprehension is just there to remind you that this or that is important and maybe you should get familiar with it so you know what you are doing and here is some adrenalin to motivate you. And give you the answers dry mouth fast heartbeat racy mind.

    Thank for your honesty its refreshing. Sorry I tend to be long winded

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Insecurities, fear of failing, lacking confidence, health issues, there are so many things which can contribute. Have you been to a doctor to rule out a possible medical condition contributing to the anxiety ? Sometimes it helps to talk in a Support group with others who deal with anxiety too. I hope you find solutions and relief soon! ((Hugs))

    Liked by 1 person

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