84. Day One

WhatsApp Image 2020-03-19 at 18.16.16Dear Readers,

To be honest the last few days were spent panicking about my attendance because of the number of sick leaves I’d taken and sorting out the notes I’d missed. I was internally going through two issues that took me a while understand. When I finally did, I didn’t speak about it with anyone and I kept it to myself.

I could slowly start seeing the change in my behaviour because I was getting more and more frustrated with everyone around me. And I didn’t like that I was changing. So what I did was I said both those issues to people I trust. And to be honest that was so bloody liberating. I’m so so glad that I finally opened up and told someone what I’m feeling. My biggest fear now is that nothing will be done now that I opened up about it.

Apart from that, you all obviously know about the CoronaVirus. You all understand how scary this is. I hope you all are safe and are taking all the precautionary measures. I hope you or nobody you know are affected by it. I’m sorry if they are and I hope they get better soon.

Since I live in India, the number of people infected are luckily quite less in comparison to a few other countries. I hope the numbers don’t change and start reducing in India and the rest of the world.

So I had college till yesterday (mainly because I’m a part of a medical college) and from today till at least the end of this month, I won’t have to go to college.

I was kinda gutted that I’ll have to stay home because it’s been so long since I’ve stayed at home and not done anything especially for this long. I’ve only stayed at home if I was ill or if I had to study. And honestly I was a little scared because I didn’t want to face my thoughts that I’ve conveniently chosen to suppress all along. But last night, I got a bit drunk and I spoke it all out which lead to my second paragraph of this blog post. It was so liberating and I slept like a baby!

Today is officially my first day of being in the house. I woke a little late. Went to a bookstore and bought a couple of books. Came back and had a tummy filling lunch. I literally sat with the phone on my bed for at least 6 hours and I ended up feeling guilty because I didn’t do much. I watched the Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s address to the nation regarding COVID-19.

I have a lot of things to do, I procrastinated them all and ended up doing nothing. It was by far the most boring day I’ve had in a long time. I hope things get better soon. And I hope I learn to fight the boredom and fight for things in general.

That’s all for today. Please tell me how things are at your place and how are you doing in the comment section below. Stay safe and try to be as healthy as possible. Loads of love and positive vibes being sent your way.

Realistic Beginner.

18 thoughts on “84. Day One

  1. I was interning as a clinician in an outpatient behavioral health clinic and was pulled from it early due to all of the health concerns. We do not have as many confirmed cases as a lot of places, but our college didn’t want to be responsible for students potentially becoming ill due to the high volume of people most of us interact with at our internships.

    While I’m sad about this, I’m at least grateful that I was offered a job before any of this happened, and the offer still stands. Because I love what I was doing, I can’t wait to be hired.

    This is our last semester of graduate school. Three years and we end on this note 😦 All classes have been moved to online and our commencement will probably be postponed as well.

    I wish you and yours good luck and good health during all of this! Thank you for your post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you’re now home and safe, especially in these times!
      And CONGRATULATIONS on getting the job!
      My juniors are in the same boat as you, so I kind of understand how you might be feeling, however, I’m sorry you were asked to end it in such a manner
      I wish you the same!
      Thank you and stay safe 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Here in SA, the amount of cases are still minimal. The province I live in has yet to report a confirmed case. While this is cause to celebrate in some ways, I think there are underlying issues as to the why this is.
    So we’re being cautious anyway, taking the necessary precautions, and have the dry skin to prove it 😛 Disinfectant and constant hand washing is not doing my hands any favours – but hey, we do what we have to do.
    I’m enjoying ‘self quarantining’, just because. I think I’m an introverted extrovert by nature 😉 I am quite happy being at home, and staying here. I certainly have enough to do to keep me occupied 😉
    My teenage daughter has already read 6 books! She’s only been home for 48 hours, ha ha ha!
    I am very grateful that technology allows us to be isolated, without being isolated 😉
    While human touch is non-existent, thank goodness we still have a way to reach out and not feel too lonely.
    Keep well, and thanks for the update 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad that the number of cases are low and I hope it stays that way. I’m glad you’re taking the necessary precautions. I’m glad you’re enjoying being at home.
      And wow, she’s read 6 books. That’s great! That gives me the motivation to read more.
      And I couldn’t agree more. I love that we’re still able to be in touch and still know what’s happening whilst being in isolation.
      Thank you for the update as well 🙂
      Stay safe!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s got a whole lot worse, sadly.
        But yes, being able to connect with others via the internet still… and having time to read… these things will get us through in my house 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  3. It really does suck not being able to go to school…but it’s for the best to prevent overloading the hospitals. If you’re at a medical school, are you going into psychiatry or something else? I’m sorry if you posted before what you plan to do and I forgot!

    It’s great to have people you can trust. May they be able to help you out again in the future!

    As for Covid-19 fun…well. I’m from California, and the governor announced hours ago for the whole state to go into lock down. We’ll see how that goes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I hate not having things to do. And yes you’re right. They’re trying to keep the number of people present at the hospital at a bare minimum. Only staff, MPhil students and interns are currently working.
      And I do have clinic duty in the Pyschiatry ward, but I major in Clinical Psychology 🙂
      Yeah, hope you and your family are safe!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad that students and interns are able to work. One of the nursing schools I know of PULLED their rotations out of the hospitals :/
        Clinical psychology sounds awesome. I also admit a morbid curiosity to what kind of papers will be written about after everything’s calmed down with COVID-19.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Same, we had our rotations pulled as well!
        I’m really curious as well, share some interesting ones as and when I come across them! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Northern California, United States 🇺🇸 here…

    Everything is pretty much closed and on lock down here. We are all in isolation and practicing “social distancing” – which evidentially is the term of 2020. 😑

    My kids are all out of school and basically homeschooling… I lost my job at MY school cause all schools are currently closed at this moment.

    My oldest son’s job just closed and is now working from home remotely.

    Only jobs that are absolutely essential are still working – like grocery stores, police, fire, etc… I have a weekend job at a funeral home and we are also essential personnel – all funerals and memorials are on hold until further notice. But we will still be operating – with only one person in building at a time and our care center will still be picking up bodies when needed (sorry to sound little morbid – is just the job)

    Many jobs are either closed or working from home now, the best they can.

    We still have no toilet paper or paper type products … still sold out on that… people here are still panic buying when they venture out…

    It’s odd to drive in a usually heavily traffic area – which now has no traffic at all!! No one is out and about.

    They do not want us socializing at all – life came to a really abrupt halt for people.

    No gatherings, no church, no nothing at all…

    Disneyland and Disney World have closed down, all theme parks, casinos, anything non-essential is closed- it’s unprecedented

    My kids are working on their school work in hopes of possibly getting to go back to school… I am taking some online classes for my own school… I still work on the weekends at the funeral home – now all by myself, but I will get to get out for a little while and still have a job!

    It feels weird?? And being home so much is just unusual… we play games or watch videos when not working on school things. My kids chat with their friends and I come here to read posts or post myself.

    We cook and eat, I disinfect constantly lol … we practice washing our hands and good hygiene – we have gotten REALLY good with the hand washing – although my hands are sooo dry from washing and hand sanitizer lol

    I think my biggest issue is not touching my face… I never before realized how much I touch my face until now lol … that’s hard cause I will have an itch, or want to move my hair out of my face or rub my eyes – now that I’m conscience of it – I noticed how much I want to do that!! 😮

    So far my family and I are safe and well. (Knock on wood)

    Glad to hear you are doing ok also… hope you and your family continue to stay safe and well

    The entire world …for probably the first time EVER – is all working together to figure this out!! I kinda like the unity in that. I wish that was always ❤️

    Take care and loved the update!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have read blog posts about how scary it is out there but reading your comment just made it extremely real for me.
      Just by reading it, I can sense how scary it must feel for you, your family and everyone in your neighbourhood.
      I loved reading that you work at a funeral home. It was heartwarming to read that.
      I am so glad you and your family are safe and healthy!
      And yes, I agree. I love the unity and I hope it continues! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is a little scary!! We definitely were kind of taken by surprise with the seriousness of the virus. Have never, in my entire life, seen things like this… all the shut downs and precautions… it is crazy!!

        We are going on week 2 of everything shut down…

        The schools are scheduled to go back on April 14th but they told us this past week that most likely will get pushed out… this school year just might be over.

        The high schools have cancelled their proms, and SAT’s have been cancelled… and looks like graduations will be cancelled also 😮

        Until meds or a cure is found… I think this is life 😳

        Our stock market just plummets … people are out of work, the government is trying to help… and federal government pushed taxes being due from April 15th until July 15th … but the state taxes are up to each individual state.

        My mother – with Alzheimer’s in a memory care facility… they on complete lock down – absolutely no visitors until further notice.

        It’s still exploding and infecting everywhere here in the United States – New York and Massachusetts are having a rough time

        They stationed 2 medical ships – one on east coast and one on the west coast to possibly help.

        They are trying to help those with food and things they need.

        We are just trying to slow the rate of infection and then also try to prevent deaths until someone can come up with something.

        Please stay safe… heed the warnings! Wash your hands – at least 20 seconds! Use hand sanitizers when you touch things, don’t touch your face or put things that could have germs in your mouth – like a pen or anything… be careful of people coughing or sneezing… don’t shake hands and keep a safe distance from people.

        I don’t know what it’s like where you are… is it not so bad? How are you and your people handling it?

        We are in good spirits – we are currently not sick, follow the rules, spend time together and we are safe and have food. I am still working so I do have a paycheck – but many do not.

        Is weird… like I said – never seen anything like this ever before! Hope someone finds something soon!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I honestly don’t know what to say other than the fact that I hope this stops from spreading and I hope we find a cure soon.
        Have you had the chance to speak with your mother?
        Everything that you’ve mentioned is just scary.
        I’m glad you and your loved ones are well and safe!
        I agree, never seen anything like this, but let’s hope for the best.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes me too!! I can only imagine world wide celebrations the day they find something to help!! Hopefully that is soon! – I am ready!! Lol

        I speak to my mom every couple days … she’s oblivious to what’s happening outside her nursing home… she does not even realize no one can visit – she forgets short term memory, in seconds… but she’s doing really good – she’s happy… has a group of her lady friends and they all walk around with their walkers … they are allowed to socialize in the nursing home because no one goes anywhere and no one comes in lol … so no memory or knowledge of this terror AND gets socialization … so my mom is happy and has peace. ❤️ she is doing well. Thank you for asking ❤️

        Always hoping for the best!!! 🙏🙏🙏


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