101. Self-Reflection

Dear Readers,

Hello everyone! I know it’s been a while since I posted after my 100th blog. I kinda took some time off because I wanted to do so many things with my blog and I feel like I kinda went overboard and got a little bit too excited for it all. I do plan on executing them but I just want the perfect start and I feel like I should not overburden myself and bring in my need of idealism to affect the number of posts I put out there.

I just turned 22 on August 3rd. I had a good “lockdown” birthday. I video-called people that couldn’t be here for my birthday. I went out with my friend for a drive. I had fun at home with my parents. Overall, amazing day!

And, I came on here just to tell you all that I’m ecstatic. I’m so so so so happy. I’m in a good place.

This need/desire to be in a good place has been there for as long as I can remember. There aren’t many things that I haven’t tried.

After years and years of trial and error, I can finally say that it’s been a month since I’ve had negative thoughts, it has been 5 months since I had my last panic attack and it has been 3 months since I let myself voluntarily engage in this thoughts/feelings.

How did I come out of this?

Honestly it was about training the monkey in my head. It took me almost 9 years to reach this place. And I know that I’m not completely “healed” or “I’ve fought all my demons”. But, I have reach this place that’s better and can facilitate a more positive, forthcoming and safe environment so that I can learn to be better and keep growing!

I’d also like to explain what mood-trackers are. So mood-trackers are essentially you keeping a track of your overall mood of the day. People usually create a monthly tracker or yearly tracker. I usually do a monthly mood-tracker.

To give you an example, the following picture is my monthly mood-tracker for July, 2020. You can get creative and you create a mood-tracker with ice-creams or rain drops. Literally anything.

Let me know if you try your very own mood-trackers. You can tag me on instagram or twitter.

How have you all been? What’s up with you lot?

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.