97. Day 40

Dear readers,

WhatsApp Image 2020-04-20 at 15.34.50

Today is day 40 (27th April 2020) of lockdown. I don’t know where to begin or what to tell you all. This week went so fast that it was almost like I didn’t live this week. I did a lot of work. Have quite a few online assignments coming up in the next 15 days.

The building opposite my building had a COVID-19 case, so they’ve sealed the streets. We are under complete lockdown. Essential items and groceries are something we’re getting delivered. We’re practising complete isolation for at least another week.

I read more this week than I have in the last five years. Even though I had a lot of work to do, this week was quite chill. I got to play cards with my family. Every weekend I get to play tambola (Indian bingo or lottery-style board game) with my family over a video call.

I need to devote more time to reading, calligraphy, violin-playing and mandala-drawing along with my work and college assignments. Balancing: is what I need to learn and implement.

I managed to take out my DSLR after almost three years and started experimenting with it again. I need to go back to my basics and get started right from scratch.

Oh, I baked a cake (just like everyone is doing right now) this week. It came out a little bit hard so I’ll try another one this week, hoping it will come out a bit better.

I finally got my PS out and played for around 3 hours this week. Sadly, only one game is working properly, so I don’t have an option to play anything but that. It’s a game I love dearly, so I don’t mind. Here again, I deleted my previous achievements, and I’m playing from scratch because I’ve lost touch.

Well, these are the things that are currently happening in my life. My sleep cycle is finally under control, and I’m getting enough sleep.

I hope all of you are safe and healthy in your house. I hope you’re all washing your hands regularly and are all practising social distancing.

I hope you’re all not wasting water because we don’t want this pandemic to lead to another worldwide natural disaster: water scarcity. I hope you’re all exercising at home.

I understand that it can get a little irritating.

It can feel like you’re stuck within four walls but try to focus on the positives and work on yourself and better yourself so we can all fight this together and resume our lives as soon as possible.

What do you plan on working on this week?

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

96. Day 31

Dear Readers,

Today is day 31 (18th April 2020). I was quite busy this week and had a lot to do. This week was probably the most productive I’ve been so far during this lockdown period.

This has nothing to do with me wanting to make the best use of the time given to me. This has to do with my own need to be productive. So, don’t think that I am restricting myself to not “have fun”.

As weird as it sounds, I love working. Work is fun for me. Be it my college work or like work in general. The only thing that often gets to me is the time factor. I need to figure out how to balance all this “work” so that I can get equal preference to each “work”.

So currently working on the “balancing” aspect is what I need to do this weekend. I did take some time this week to do some calligraphy work.

WhatsApp Image 2020-04-18 at 20.10.19

I’m still learning and, I made a lot of mistakes as you can see. But I enjoyed writing it. I’m a little afraid to do it more regularly because I’ll run out of ink soon. I’ll focus more on the mandalas.

I could have not posted this and waited for a good picture (when I write a good one) to post. But, I thought that posting this picture will give you an idea of where I’m starting off from and hopefully when I do get better, you’ll see the difference as well. If any of you are into calligraphy, I’d love it if you could give me tips on how I can improve and whether it’s okay to use ink (that’s used for regular ink pens) for practice (keeping in mind that I’ll soon be running out of ink that I’ve been told is used for calligraphy)?

I’m learning a lot from the writing work that I’ve recently gotten myself into. It’s helping me learn more about another field, and it’s helping me become a better writer. I love what I’m doing. But again, I need to learn how to balance this work and the other aspects of my life (I don’t mean watching TV shows, because that has never been a priority for me).

I haven’t created a monthly to-do list so far. I’m going to make an almost half-month plan starting from Monday. Now that I can’t make any excuses of “having a lot of work to do”, I hope I can do all the tasks every day.

On a different note, my college extended the leave until 17th May and the country lockdown has been extended for 2 more weeks. But, our online classes start on Monday, which is going to be fun, I hope. 

Hope you’re all safe and doing the things that you’re supposed to be doing. Staying at home is not only required for your own safety but for everyone in the world collectively. It’s beautiful how the majority of us are staying home and doing their bits.

Not to mention the commendable work by all the front liners in various roles is risking their lives for us collectively. I don’t think we’ll ever be able to repay the work their doing (irrespective of a few individuals saying that “it’s their job” or “they chose this profession” or “we’re clapping and appreciating them”).

I hope all of you can see the positive side of this rather than focusing on the negatives. (I know it can be easier said than done, but please do try). If you just want to talk my comment section and email (if you want to talk privately) is always available for all of you.

How are you all doing? It’s been a week since I came online on WordPress, and I already feel like I missed out on a lot of new content. I hope to read more and write more often. Stay home and stay love. Sending loads of love and positivity your way!

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

95. Day 23

Dear Readers,

WhatsApp Image 2020-04-10 at 17.07.31

Today is day 23 (April 10, 2020) of being at home. These three days feel so bizarre and abnormal. I didn’t really do much. I started reading a book, and I played a few games on my phone.

WhatsApp Image 2020-04-10 at 17.05.54.jpeg

^ I worked on my mandala for a couple of hours. This is the second mandala I have ever attempted. But, I did like the way it turned out. There are a lot of mistakes in this mandala as well, though. I did lose patience quite a few times and was often hasty. Maybe as I practice more of these, I’ll get better. I am sticking to the basic designs because I don’t know how to draw complicated ones, yet.

I’m still struggling with my sleep schedule, and I don’t know what to do about it.

But I’m thoroughly enjoying reading a book and not really doing much. I finally feel like the pressure is off. The need for trying to make every minute of the day count. I think I’ve finally made my peace with not being productive every minute of every day. I’m enjoying watching YouTube vlogs and listening to podcasts.

I’ve also realised that I can pass the time very easily. It’s just this feeling of not doing “productive things” that got to me.

What are you all doing?

How have you all been passing the time?

I hope all of you are safe and healthy in your house. I hope you’re all washing your hands regularly and are all practising social distancing.

I hope you’re all not wasting water because we don’t want this pandemic to lead to another worldwide natural disaster: water scarcity. I hope you’re all exercising at home.

And I hope you all are avoiding touching your eyes, nose or mouth.

I understand that it can get a little irritating.

It can feel like you’re stuck within four walls but try to focus on the positives and work on yourself and better yourself so we can all fight this together and resume our lives as soon as possible.

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

94. Day 20 (Fifth Blogiversary)

Dear Readers,

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Today is the 20th day (April 7th) of being home. But today is a special day. Today marks the 5th anniversary (or should I say blogiversary) of Realistic Beginner. I started blogging on April 7th, 2016.

You won’t be able to read the blogs I wrote in the first two years because I deleted them as I thought that they’re not something I wanted to remain published and I wanted to give my blog and myself mentally, a fresh start.

That is also around the time I started numbering my blogs starting from blog #1. I’ll be writing my hundredth blog in a few days.

It is quite surreal if I’m honest. I knew that I enjoyed writing. I can get lost in the rhythm of typing each letter on the keyboard. I am fully aware of that.

On the other hand, I also didn’t expect myself to be comfortable with sharing my life on the internet. I’m also fully aware of how this blog as a whole can be seen as something negative or something positive.

But, if I’m honest, I absolutely love how engaging and beautiful it feels when I write something in this blog. I get mind-blowing comments that make me think more. I love the time I take to write a blog. It is absolutely therapeutic.

I love how my fellow bloggers always take their time to read my blogs and comment about it. I’m thankful for every one of you 2000+ people who follow me and keep sending me emails. I love reading what you all have to say.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Today was a lazy day. All I did was sleep. I’ll read something for a while. Then I’ll go back to sleep. Not really going to do anything today.

I hope all of you are safe and healthy in your house. I hope you’re all washing your hands regularly and are all practising social distancing.

I hope you’re all not wasting water because we don’t want this pandemic to lead to another worldwide natural disaster: water scarcity. I hope you’re all exercising at home.

And I hope you all are avoiding touching your eyes, nose or mouth.

I understand that it can get a little irritating.

It can feel like you’re stuck within four walls but try to focus on the positives and work on yourself and better yourself so we can all fight this together and resume our lives as soon as possible.

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

93. Day 19

Dear Readers,

WhatsApp Image 2020-04-06 at 17.12.50Today is day 19 (April 6th). My sleep cycle has been completely turned upside down. I fall asleep at 4 in the morning, and I don’t wake up before 12 in the afternoon.

I need to adjust my sleep cycle again. I feel like I’m losing out on a lot of time. I feel like I’m not getting enough sleep. I need to work on that as well.

Lately, I’ve been feeling so tired. I don’t feel like doing anything. I feel guilty for not doing as much as I wish to. I think this feeling has a lot to do with my sleep.

The amount and quality of sleep I get effect my everyday mood. The goal of this week is to get quality sleep.

I have a few ideas coming up for this blog as I’m close to writing my 100th blog. I’ll be changing a few things.

I’ll try to make it a little more interesting. I think I finally found my niche in blogging. This is something that I’m interested in.

This is something that gives me an identity in the blogging community, which I personally needed because I need things to be black and white.

I keep trying until I find the answer and until things are black and white. It took me five years and 100 blog-posts to discover my niche.

I’m glad I took this time to experiment with my blogs and find something that excites me. Now I am going to spend some more time to learn more about my niche.

Obviously, I’m also going to be figuring out how this works as and when I post more. But, I want to at least try to learn more about this particular niche, which will help me create a rough mind map about what I want to do next.

I’ve also started reading again. It feels like I haven’t read a book properly ever. I also decided that instead of reading fiction books, I’m going to attempt reading Psychology-related books.

This way, I’m learning something related to my subject and getting into the habit of reading.

I’m not going to able to post many pictures because I didn’t click as many. I had fifteen pics that I thought I’d post.

I assumed that I’ll have time to click more pictures by the time I post these. But coronavirus and being stuck at home (like everybody) changed my plans.

I might share some mandala drawings or calligraphy attempts, soon. I’m currently working on my second mandala right now. Let’s see how that turns out.

I hope all of you are safe and healthy in your house. I hope you’re all washing your hands regularly and are all practising social distancing.

I hope you’re all not wasting water because we don’t want this pandemic to lead to another worldwide natural disaster: water scarcity. I hope you’re all exercising at home.

And I hope you all are avoiding touching your eyes, nose or mouth.

I understand that it can get a little irritating.

It can feel like you’re stuck within four walls but try to focus on the positives and work on yourself and better yourself so we can all fight this together and resume our lives as soon as possible.

What do you plan on working on this week?

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

92. Day 15

Dear Readers,

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My day 15 of self-quarantine was by far the most productive day I’ve had. I had this one chore pending for at least 9-10 months. I finally sat down and organised all my notes and UG files subject-wise. My room cleaning is officially 80% done. There are a few things that I want to shuffle around and organise them better. I’m glad I can finally strike that chore from my to-do list.

There are a few notes that I’ve scribbled on various sheets of paper. I wanted to write it down in one notebook. I’m done with 30% of the writing. I also had a few college works that I wanted to get done before going to bed.

Unfortunately, I then found out that my paternal grand uncle had passed away. I didn’t really get the chance to do anything else. My grand uncle has given my family and me so much to laugh about. He’ll always be remembered.

I hope all of you are safe, healthy and in your homes. I hope you’re all washing your hands regularly and are all practising social distancing. I hope you’re all not wasting water because we don’t want this pandemic to lead to another worldwide natural disaster: water scarcity. I hope you’re all exercising at home. And I hope you all are avoiding touching your eyes, nose or mouth.

I understand that it can get a little irritating. It can feel like you’re stuck within four walls but try to focus on the positives and work on yourself and better yourself so we can all fight this together and resume our lives as soon as possible.

How are you all doing?

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

91. Day 14

Dear Readers,

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Today is the start of a new month. I did get a chance to turn a new leaf and change my whole mindset about how this month is going to be. I have a whole month free. I can do so much. I’m going to be so disappointed in myself if I don’t grab this golden opportunity and make the best use of my time.

Today is day 14 (April 1st, 2020). #happy420. I woke up a little later than usual. I cleaned, cooked and ate. I’ve been tired the whole day. I can feel my body hurting because of the workout. My body needs to get adjusted to these workouts. I also need to learn to sleep better. I’m finding it difficult to fall asleep before 4 am and I feel like that’s not right!

I spent some time on JK Rowling’s wizarding world website. I am so happy to say that I officially belong to the Gryffindor House. I watched a few Youtube videos. I am so tired that I can’t even gather the courage to get out of bed and do something. I’m sorry if the blog seems dry. The blog might seem dry because my day is dry and uninteresting.

I had a few negative thoughts today. I’m trying not to ruminate on them. I’ll try doing something else or watch something instead of just rolling in bed and making it worse by overthinking.

I hope all of you are safe, healthy and in your homes. I hope you’re all washing your hands regularly and are all practising social distancing. I hope you’re all not wasting water because we don’t want this pandemic to lead to another worldwide natural disaster: water scarcity. I hope you’re all exercising at home. And I hope you all are avoiding touching your eyes, nose or mouth.

I understand that it can get a little irritating. It can feel like you’re stuck within four walls but try to focus on the positives and work on yourself and better yourself so we can all fight this together and resume our lives as soon as possible.

How is your day going? What do you plan on doing in April? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ignoring the epidemic and acting as though there is nothing to be worried about. I’m asking for your plans for this month now that you’ll be home.

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

 

89. Day Seven: “The Double Door”

Dear readers,

On day 7 (March 25th, 2020) of being at home, I woke up quite early than usual. I immediately started cleaning as I’d mentioned on day four. So, I got everything out from one particular section in my room and I reorganised and cleaned that bit which I thoroughly enjoyed doing. I’ll do one one portion each day.

In my room, I’m done with the most messiest section and I’m assuming that the rest of them won’t take more than a day or 2 days maximum. And then I wrote my blog, watched a few episodes of Money Heist, had dinner and watched 2 more episodes and I’m done with season 1 of the show.

 Picture for the blog:

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This picture has the same story as the one mentioned in day five and six and is clicked from the same place. I really really enjoy that spot. That’s one spot in my college that I miss the most. Just like trees, I also have a thing for doors.

I recently had this idea of personifying things. I’d done this as an activity in school but I haven’t thought of it since then until recently. I wanted to attempt it again. And today since I chose door as the picture of today’s blog, I thought I’d attempt personifying a door.

The Double Door: 

Carl and Kathy have always been the hinged flexible portal,
Who are so open minded, unprejudiced and are so so cordial.

They both let people in as and when needed,
Irrespective of how badly they’re banged, scratched, pushed or treated.

Carl and Kathy often have to unlock, open and split up,
He hates it when it happens because it almost feels like a breakup.

They let anyone in with a key or the knack to push them apart,
The love of his life is now temporarily away from his heart.

Kathy is also hurt by the separation but sees it as her way,
Of doing good and her compulsive need to matter and to obey.

They’re both ecstatic once closed again and locked together,
Their unity leaves them promising each other for an always and a forever. 

I’m new to poetry and I just saw this free time as an opportunity to get better at all the things I always wanted to try. Poetry was once among them. I hope you liked the personification of the door. Please do share your thoughts in the comment section below.

I really hope all of you are safe, healthy and in your homes. I hope you’re all washing your hands regularly. I hope you’re all practising social distancing. I hope you’re all not wasting water because we don’t want this pandemic to lead to another worldwide natural disaster: water scarcity. I hope you’re exercising at home (even if it’s a light workout). And I hope you all are avoiding touching your eyes, nose or mouth.

I understand that it can get a little irritating and feel like you’re locked within four walls, but try to focus on the positives and work on yourself and better yourself so we can all fight this together and resume our lives as soon as possible.

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

88. Day Five And Six

Dear Readers,

On day 5 and 6 of being at home (23rd and 24th March, 2020) nothing much happened again. On day 6 of being at home, India’s Prime Minister made another speech declaring a nationwide lockdown for the next 21 days starting on 25th March, 12am! This just made everything a hell of a lot more weird and scary.

I know I’m home and the people I know are also safe in their respective homes but it just feels weird. I also started watching the show Money Heist properly. I’d already seen a few episodes here and there and I know the story till season 2, but I want to properly watch it scene by scene. I’m done with the first 8 episodes and my oh my is it good.

For picture of the blog, I selected this picture: WhatsApp Image 2020-03-23 at 20.05.07 (1)

This picture was taken 3 years back in the college where I had done my Bachelor’s. I remember vividly that my college had organised an event and I participated in the photography contest wherein each participant has to go around the campus and click a picture of something that they like. This blog’s picture and the next blog’s (that I’ll be uploading) picture are from my favourite place in the campus. It was the most calming, quiet and serene place in the campus. I’d love sitting there and just thinking whenever I get the chance to.

I love nature and I love trees. I love everything about them. I love how trees instantly make the place more beautiful. I ended up not winning the contest but that day is something I’ll never forget because I had so much fun walking around the campus and clicking pictures of anything that seemed appealing to me.

I just realised that I should do it more often because I want to be that happy again. Clicking pictures and videos and editing them are something I’d do for a living. But I always wanted to take a more interesting and slightly more challenging subject and keep photography, blogging, writing and drawing as my hobby, as something I can run to and escape to when I needed to get away from my work and my studies. I honestly don’t know if I made the right decision but it is working for me so far and I hope it continues to do so.

Well that’s it for today. I didn’t blog yesterday because I didn’t want to do anything. I spent hours watching Money Heist which I thoroughly enjoyed. How are you all doing? What are your views on my blog?

I really hope all of you are safe, healthy and in your homes. I hope you’re all washing your hands regularly. I hope you’re all practising social distancing. I hope you’re all not wasting water because we don’t want this pandemic to lead to another worldwide natural disaster: water scarcity. I hope you’re exercising at home (even if it’s a light workout). And I hope you all are avoiding touching your eyes, nose or mouth.

I understand that it can get a little irritating and feel like you’re locked within four walls, but try to focus on the positives and work on yourself and better yourself so we can all fight this together and resume our lives as soon as possible.

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

82. Graduation Week

PhotoGrid_1581322639093Dear readers,

This above picture was taken a long long time back when I had attended a workshop on photography that was organised by my college. This was the best picture of that day. I remember quite well that I didn’t really know how to click pictures and I was meddling with the settings on my camera and I ended up clicking this beautiful picture. This is one picture that I’m most proud of.

With regards to the week that went by, I’m still struggling with finding the motivation to do anything. All I want to do is sit and while away time. I have started working out (15 minutes a day at home). My sleep is getting better, I’m able to get at least 5-7 hours of sleep everyday. My appetite is also increasing. So things are not worse than last month and in fact taking a turn for the better.

Things that are priority for me this month are studying, reading books, working out and reducing social media usage. It’ll be the best month if I do these four things on a daily basis starting day after tomorrow (from 12th February).

In my previous blog (blog#81) I mentioned that I have my graduation in February. So my graduation is tomorrow (11th February). I’ll be getting my Bachelor’s of Science degree in Psychology. I didn’t get the marks because I didn’t work for them and I’m working towards not making the same mistakes in my PG. I’m ecstatic because I learnt a lot of things in this college where I did my bachelors. People claim that school is better than college for them but it was the other way around for me. I loved my college. I love the friends I made there (and I’m fully aware of the fact that they’re not going to be with me throughout my life but the memories I’ve made with them will be something nobody can take away). I like who I became after joining that college. I love my professors. So no, no regrets whatsoever.

Let’s hope that tomorrow and the next few weeks of this month goes by really well. Hope you all had a good week and hope you all have an amazing week ahead. Let me know thoughts in the comment section below.

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

79. Passive Leeches

Dear readers,

This week, I got a lot of work done in terms of bringing structure to my life. I did have free time to be able to work and binge-watch the show ‘The Big Bang Theory’ for the third time. On Friday, (20th December, 2019) I got my nose pierced. I’ve been meaning to get my nose pierced ever since I was a child and I finally got it done. So YAY. I played my first game of chess in a long long time. This week I thought I’ll talk about an experience that I’ve had difficulty letting go.

A little paragraph to better understand the writer: Me, as a person, I have this tendency to explain things. I need to explain why I am feeling what I am feeling. I need to explain if someone asks me a question. I need to elaborate. If someone asks me if I’m fine, I’ll explain why I’m fine or why I’m not fine. This need for elaboration often lands me in trouble. I feel like people don’t like explanations. I think people like everything to be short and sweet. Nobody wants an essay about what’s currently going on in their life. Nobody gives a shit anymore. That’s where I guess my love and fascination towards blogging increased. Because here I can say anything without a word limit. So what I’m explaining is what I’m feeling basically, in all my blogs. 

So there’s this concept that I’ve formed of people whom I’d like to call ‘passive leeches’. They have a way of leeching off other people’s success passively, owning the success like they’re the ones who’ve put in the hardwork and destroying everyone around them. They have a few qualities which would include having parents who are loaded with money, the ability to own the best things, the ability to dress well, the ability to walk in a room with 100% confidence and the ability to show everyone that they know it all. For better understanding; these passive leeches act like they’ve read and understood Ayn Rand when in fact all they’ve been able to read are Enid Blyton’s books and sometimes, I feel like they don’t even understand them.

I’ve known quite a few passive leeches in my life. Most of them don’t really affect me that much. I’ll explain a few things these Passive Leeches have done to me. These people make me feel bad for being smart. These people who have never understood Enid Blyton have the audacity to call me stupid for reading Ayn Rand. It’s almost ironical and amusing. These people have made me feel bad for working hard.

These people call me stupid for enjoying explaining things to people (refer to the beginning for the post). These people make me feel bad because of the colour of my skin. These people make me feel bad about having a clear skin. These people take my assignments, copy them word to word and gets better marks than me. These people steal my ideas and use them to get better marks. These people told me that I’ll look like shit if I get my nose pierced. These people seek out for my help and my notes to help them pass an exam but don’t have the decency to acknowledge the fact that I’m helping them.

If I am honest, I’m getting a little tired of people like them. Because it got to a point where I started defining my worth yet again and changing the way I’ve lived my life because of passive leeches like them (not in a huge way but in a way that affected my life). 

I know for a fact that I’m more evolved that they are. I am not going to let them define or change who I am. I am not worthless. I may not be confrontational but I am definitely done letting the be an important part of my life. I don’t care if this makes me look snobbish or proud.

I’ve had this blog idea for almost the last 3-4 months, but I didn’t have the time to execute it properly. Now that I had the time I thought I’ll write it down. I hope you all had a great week. May the upcoming week be filled with joy, happiness and productivity. Also I know it’s almost 3.5 days early but MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY. Have a lovely cozy Christmas!

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

77. December’19

Dear Readers,

It’s been a while since I have come online and blogged about my life. This whole year has been a lot shitty but I have learnt so much and I have accepted so much. And maybe since I am going to be done with 2019 soon and maybe because I do see a future and have plans for the future, I have started feeling a little positive and it’s making me a lot more excited that I have ever been this entire year.

As far as blogging is concerned, I did have plans for this blog, but unfortunately I have not been able to achieve them this year. I can try again from now on though.

As far as my college and my course is concerned, I have officially finished my first semester of MSc. Clinical Psychology. Since, I was ill and hadn’t attended college for almost two weeks, my attendance was way below the expected requirement. So, I’m not allowed/eligible to write one paper. For the first time in my life, I have an arrear paper. I was a little disappointed, but I made my peace with it.

I’ve literally been busy with going to college, coming back from college, sitting in class, eating and sleeping, I haven’t really gotten the chance to spend some time with friends or family or just chill. After so many months, I spent the entirety of yesterday doing nothing.

This week, I have 5 finals in a span of 5 days. I have no idea how I am going to cope with it and if I’ll pass. I am extremely nervous but I’m also looking forward to getting done with this 6 out of 7 papers, so I can read books and play games after. I have so many pending books (literally 3 small cupboard filled with books) that I want to read.

Aaaand, it’s December, alreadyyyyy! I can’t believe this year is about to end. Are you all excited that Christmas is just round the corner? What are your christmas traditions? Which is most memorable Christmas ever and why? What have you all been upto? Hope you all had a great first week and may the next three weeks be filled with joy and happiness. Happy Sunday, everybody!

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.