83. Hi, Again

WhatsApp Image 2020-03-08 at 16.53.06Dear Readers,

Well, a lot of things happened from my graduation till now. But I’ve been lazy or sick to sit and write about them. So, here are the highlights:

My graduation went really well. I am a proud Bachelor’s degree holder. I had so much fun that night. The dinner with some of my friends and my teachers will be something that I’ll always cherish. I had an amazing weekend after that. I’d completed two years of something that I cannot be more proud of.

I drew my first ever mandal:

WhatsApp Image 2020-03-08 at 18.53.11 (1)

Drawing this mandal was probably the most therapeutic thing I learnt to do on my own. Probably not the best looking mandals, though. After this, I started changing things. I started learning to get more interested in things I’d lost interest in. I started developing a more positive outlook on life. There were people around me who were only negative and that started getting to me. I got advice from valuable sources and started changing that as well.

I then went for my first ever calligraphy class:WhatsApp Image 2020-03-08 at 18.53.11

Excuse the shabby spots and lines on the paper. Attending this was so much fun. I am so glad I could go. I found this to be supremely therapeutic as well. I’ll continue this for as long as I can. The next day I drove (alone for the second time) to the nearby mall to watch a movie with a dear friend which was fun. I also got the chance to clear the air and that felt really nice especially because it came from the bottom of my heart.

The first of March started off really nice. I got the chance to go back to my college where I did my Bachelor’s to attend a conference. I again got the chance to spend time with my professors and gain insights. It was a brilliant day!

After this, things went spiraling down. I fell sick. I couldn’t attend an exam. I was better by the weekend. Then again I fell sick on Thursday and I’ve been sick since. I couldn’t attend another exam. And this time when I fell sick, it was severe and scary considering what’s going on in the news. But I’m better today. Fever’s come down. I’m obviously still tired and not fit enough, but I’m much better compared to yesterday and the day before.

Well this is about me. The priority for this week would be to get healthy and catch up on everything that I’ve been procrastinating for so long and check all my boxes on my to-do list. How’re things going with y’all? What have y’all been upto? Please share your views in the comment section below and also like and share! Hope you all have a great week ahead 🙂

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

82. Graduation Week

PhotoGrid_1581322639093Dear readers,

This above picture was taken a long long time back when I had attended a workshop on photography that was organised by my college. This was the best picture of that day. I remember quite well that I didn’t really know how to click pictures and I was meddling with the settings on my camera and I ended up clicking this beautiful picture. This is one picture that I’m most proud of.

With regards to the week that went by, I’m still struggling with finding the motivation to do anything. All I want to do is sit and while away time. I have started working out (15 minutes a day at home). My sleep is getting better, I’m able to get at least 5-7 hours of sleep everyday. My appetite is also increasing. So things are not worse than last month and in fact taking a turn for the better.

Things that are priority for me this month are studying, reading books, working out and reducing social media usage. It’ll be the best month if I do these four things on a daily basis starting day after tomorrow (from 12th February).

In my previous blog (blog#81) I mentioned that I have my graduation in February. So my graduation is tomorrow (11th February). I’ll be getting my Bachelor’s of Science degree in Psychology. I didn’t get the marks because I didn’t work for them and I’m working towards not making the same mistakes in my PG. I’m ecstatic because I learnt a lot of things in this college where I did my bachelors. People claim that school is better than college for them but it was the other way around for me. I loved my college. I love the friends I made there (and I’m fully aware of the fact that they’re not going to be with me throughout my life but the memories I’ve made with them will be something nobody can take away). I like who I became after joining that college. I love my professors. So no, no regrets whatsoever.

Let’s hope that tomorrow and the next few weeks of this month goes by really well. Hope you all had a good week and hope you all have an amazing week ahead. Let me know thoughts in the comment section below.

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

81. How My January Went

Blog Post

Dear readers,

January was by far the most stressful month of my life. Stressful in terms of being anxious, afraid and majorly sleep deprived. I have no regrets. I don’t hate January for being so stressful. Would I have enjoyed it better if I didn’t have anxiety attacks? Sure. Would I have liked to sleep better? Definitely. But still, I have no regrets.

I think it’s gotten to the point where (I know it’s not a thing but) I’m emotionally self harming myself by putting myself through this vicious cycle of:

I want to be better – something bad happens – I think of all the negative outcomes – I start panicking – I end up having an anxiety/panic attack – things go haywire from there – it takes almost more than 15 days to get back to normalcy – I want to be better – something bad/stressful happens again.

And honestly, I don’t know how to get out of it.

BUT. On the positive note, a few AMAZING things happened in January like:

  1. I hit 2K followers on my blog. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to every single one of you who hit follow. Means the world to me.
  2. I got some clarity about what I can possibly end up doing after my post-graduation.
  3. I got an invite for my bachelor’s graduation/convocation. It kinda sucked because I thought I wouldn’t be able to go, but by the end of the month, I finally could confirm that I can go for my bachelor’s graduation. I’ll be getting my degree on February 11th. Even though there are a few complications, I am so so excited about that. Because it’s my graduation day and it’s the day that is going to make feel like I’ve done something worthwhile and have done some pretty cool things. And plus, I get to wear the graduation robe and cap.
  4. I met my professors who have taught me so much and mean the world to me.
  5. I have become more confident in terms of what I want to say and I’m still trying to still learn how to properly say everything in a way that wouldn’t hurt others.
  6. Academically, I have learnt so much and seen so many new cases and patients and I’m learning a lot from this one professor who patiently explains every single question of mine.
  7. I don’t know if it’s a good thing but I’m becoming more empathetic and I’m liking it.
  8. I have to thank A, A, M, D, N and P for being through this with me this entire month, I know I may have left them feeling helpless, but them just being there for me without any judgements, opinions and understanding what I was going through (without expecting that I’d act normal) meant the world to me.
  9. I did bunk a few classes which seemed exciting and fun.
  10. I also went to a pub and a restobar for the first time with my parents and that’s pretty dope.
  11. And lastly, my brother came home after what felt like a decade.

Exactly why I meant that I have no regrets. There’s always a silver lining. We just have to have the patience to wait for it and realise it. It’s already February. But the first two days of February I spent in college, I felt bad, I cried and I went out with my mom. So tomorrow is the third. I’m not going to be able to be hyper and fully positive because I’ll be getting less sleep tonight. But from tomorrow, I’m changing a few things. The first few days is going to be hard, I agree. But, I’ll learn to adjust to it.

Hope you had an amazing month. Please do tell me about your month in the comment section below and your views about this blog in general. Have a great February and an amazing week ahead. I personally am very excited for this month.

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.