101. Self-Reflection

Dear Readers,

Hello everyone! I know it’s been a while since I posted after my 100th blog. I kinda took some time off because I wanted to do so many things with my blog and I feel like I kinda went overboard and got a little bit too excited for it all. I do plan on executing them but I just want the perfect start and I feel like I should not overburden myself and bring in my need of idealism to affect the number of posts I put out there.

I just turned 22 on August 3rd. I had a good “lockdown” birthday. I video-called people that couldn’t be here for my birthday. I went out with my friend for a drive. I had fun at home with my parents. Overall, amazing day!

And, I came on here just to tell you all that I’m ecstatic. I’m so so so so happy. I’m in a good place.

This need/desire to be in a good place has been there for as long as I can remember. There aren’t many things that I haven’t tried.

After years and years of trial and error, I can finally say that it’s been a month since I’ve had negative thoughts, it has been 5 months since I had my last panic attack and it has been 3 months since I let myself voluntarily engage in this thoughts/feelings.

How did I come out of this?

Honestly it was about training the monkey in my head. It took me almost 9 years to reach this place. And I know that I’m not completely “healed” or “I’ve fought all my demons”. But, I have reach this place that’s better and can facilitate a more positive, forthcoming and safe environment so that I can learn to be better and keep growing!

I’d also like to explain what mood-trackers are. So mood-trackers are essentially you keeping a track of your overall mood of the day. People usually create a monthly tracker or yearly tracker. I usually do a monthly mood-tracker.

To give you an example, the following picture is my monthly mood-tracker for July, 2020. You can get creative and you create a mood-tracker with ice-creams or rain drops. Literally anything.

Let me know if you try your very own mood-trackers. You can tag me on instagram or twitter.

How have you all been? What’s up with you lot?

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

86. Day Three

WhatsApp Image 2020-03-19 at 18.16.16 (2)Dear Readers,

On my day three of being in the house, I again didn’t do much. Didn’t do any of the cleaning that I’d planned to do. But I did cook, which was a fun thing to do. I realised that I should want to cook for often. I had a lot of fun on instagram yesterday! There were three things going around.

The first one was a nomination wherein all the women I knew were posting selfies of themselves and showing their support towards empowering women and doing their bit instead of criticising them. It was a beautiful thing going around despite all the cons of feminism and arguments like self-objectification.

The second and third one were also nominations where I was expected to take a screenshot of my friend’s instagram story and add to it by drawing an orange and a carrot and tagging a few more people, just for the lols. It was quite fun to do.

And then I wrote my blog and spent a couple of hours responding to comments, which was quite interesting. I love responding to comments. I had a good time with my family last night and I enjoyed the conversation I had.

I actually planned on posting something today along with my daily update of what I’m doing but it’s taking a little longer to write and I’m getting tired with the work at home. Hopefully by tomorrow, I should be done with the write up and should be able to post it along with tomorrow’s blog.

With regards to COVID-19, there was a massive and the biggest one day jump in the number of cases in India. We’ve reached the 300th mark for the number of cases. It does seem to be getting a little bit more scary. (i’m writing this blog on Sunday and today many cities are on lockdown as time passes by). The city that I’m in will also be on lockdown till March 31st. It’s a scary time and I really hope that everyone are in their homes and are staying safe and are taking the necessary precautions.

With loads of love and regards,
Realistic Beginner.