97. Day 40

Dear readers,

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Today is day 40 (27th April 2020) of lockdown. I don’t know where to begin or what to tell you all. This week went so fast that it was almost like I didn’t live this week. I did a lot of work. Have quite a few online assignments coming up in the next 15 days.

The building opposite my building had a COVID-19 case, so they’ve sealed the streets. We are under complete lockdown. Essential items and groceries are something we’re getting delivered. We’re practising complete isolation for at least another week.

I read more this week than I have in the last five years. Even though I had a lot of work to do, this week was quite chill. I got to play cards with my family. Every weekend I get to play tambola (Indian bingo or lottery-style board game) with my family over a video call.

I need to devote more time to reading, calligraphy, violin-playing and mandala-drawing along with my work and college assignments. Balancing: is what I need to learn and implement.

I managed to take out my DSLR after almost three years and started experimenting with it again. I need to go back to my basics and get started right from scratch.

Oh, I baked a cake (just like everyone is doing right now) this week. It came out a little bit hard so I’ll try another one this week, hoping it will come out a bit better.

I finally got my PS out and played for around 3 hours this week. Sadly, only one game is working properly, so I don’t have an option to play anything but that. It’s a game I love dearly, so I don’t mind. Here again, I deleted my previous achievements, and I’m playing from scratch because I’ve lost touch.

Well, these are the things that are currently happening in my life. My sleep cycle is finally under control, and I’m getting enough sleep.

I hope all of you are safe and healthy in your house. I hope you’re all washing your hands regularly and are all practising social distancing.

I hope you’re all not wasting water because we don’t want this pandemic to lead to another worldwide natural disaster: water scarcity. I hope you’re all exercising at home.

I understand that it can get a little irritating.

It can feel like you’re stuck within four walls but try to focus on the positives and work on yourself and better yourself so we can all fight this together and resume our lives as soon as possible.

What do you plan on working on this week?

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

96. Day 31

Dear Readers,

Today is day 31 (18th April 2020). I was quite busy this week and had a lot to do. This week was probably the most productive I’ve been so far during this lockdown period.

This has nothing to do with me wanting to make the best use of the time given to me. This has to do with my own need to be productive. So, don’t think that I am restricting myself to not “have fun”.

As weird as it sounds, I love working. Work is fun for me. Be it my college work or like work in general. The only thing that often gets to me is the time factor. I need to figure out how to balance all this “work” so that I can get equal preference to each “work”.

So currently working on the “balancing” aspect is what I need to do this weekend. I did take some time this week to do some calligraphy work.

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I’m still learning and, I made a lot of mistakes as you can see. But I enjoyed writing it. I’m a little afraid to do it more regularly because I’ll run out of ink soon. I’ll focus more on the mandalas.

I could have not posted this and waited for a good picture (when I write a good one) to post. But, I thought that posting this picture will give you an idea of where I’m starting off from and hopefully when I do get better, you’ll see the difference as well. If any of you are into calligraphy, I’d love it if you could give me tips on how I can improve and whether it’s okay to use ink (that’s used for regular ink pens) for practice (keeping in mind that I’ll soon be running out of ink that I’ve been told is used for calligraphy)?

I’m learning a lot from the writing work that I’ve recently gotten myself into. It’s helping me learn more about another field, and it’s helping me become a better writer. I love what I’m doing. But again, I need to learn how to balance this work and the other aspects of my life (I don’t mean watching TV shows, because that has never been a priority for me).

I haven’t created a monthly to-do list so far. I’m going to make an almost half-month plan starting from Monday. Now that I can’t make any excuses of “having a lot of work to do”, I hope I can do all the tasks every day.

On a different note, my college extended the leave until 17th May and the country lockdown has been extended for 2 more weeks. But, our online classes start on Monday, which is going to be fun, I hope. 

Hope you’re all safe and doing the things that you’re supposed to be doing. Staying at home is not only required for your own safety but for everyone in the world collectively. It’s beautiful how the majority of us are staying home and doing their bits.

Not to mention the commendable work by all the front liners in various roles is risking their lives for us collectively. I don’t think we’ll ever be able to repay the work their doing (irrespective of a few individuals saying that “it’s their job” or “they chose this profession” or “we’re clapping and appreciating them”).

I hope all of you can see the positive side of this rather than focusing on the negatives. (I know it can be easier said than done, but please do try). If you just want to talk my comment section and email (if you want to talk privately) is always available for all of you.

How are you all doing? It’s been a week since I came online on WordPress, and I already feel like I missed out on a lot of new content. I hope to read more and write more often. Stay home and stay love. Sending loads of love and positivity your way!

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

80. Goodbye 2019

Dear Readers,

Today’s the 31st of December, 2019. I wanted to write a blog on Sunday like I normally do but I thought I’ll write it on the last day of the year. Well, the year 2019 has had a lot of downs but an equal number of ups as well.

It’s been a year of extremities. I’ve either been extremely happy or I’ve been extremely unhappy. Looking back, I honestly don’t know how I feel about this year. I hate it but I also love it. I can’t make up my mind. But what I do know and honestly believe that I’m okay with whatever happened. I made my peace with it. I did learn a lot of things from both, the bad and the good experiences. I learnt how I want to live my life next year and what I want to avoid doing the next year.

This year has been a lot of firsts for me and I love that I did those things irrespective of how fearful it may have seemed. They are definitely the highlights of my year and they are without a shadow of a doubt my most cherished memories of this year. These things are the reason why my year doesn’t seem that bad. I woke up this morning and I was ecstatic about who aren’t in my life anymore and who still are.

This next year is going to be crazily tough if certain things don’t happen. I sincerely hope and wish that what I want to happen should happen. I’ll be heartbroken if it doesn’t. I know it’s silly to have such fixed expectations but I need them to happen. Either plan A or plan B. Let’s see how the year 2020 unfolds.

I will be writing a list of things I will work to change everyday of the year in my personal journal. I will also be writing a list of things I want to achieve in the year 2020. Thank you C, P, A, A, L, K, P, P, S, D, T, M, J, R, L, A, V and M for being in my life. Some of them played a role only for like a part of the year and some of them have stayed throughout and they’re still a major part of my life. (to maintain discretion I’ve used the starting letter of their names)

Hope you all have an amazing year ahead. I hope your year did go well. What is it that you learnt from the year 2019 and what do you feel about the new year?

With loads of love and best wishes I wish you all a very happy new year.

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

33. Escaping Reality

Dear readers,

This week I wanted to speak about “escaping reality”. The books I read, the TV shows I watch, the movies I watch, the sports I regularly try to watch, anything I do apart from what I’m “supposed” to do, is to escape reality.

I am not ashamed to say it. I find it hard/boring if I am doing anything or watching anything that reminds me of reality. This doesn’t mean that I dislike reality or can’t accept reality in any way. I accept reality, wholeheartedly. When I want to escape it for a brief moment, then I look for something fictitious or extremely entertaining.

Like say for example, reading non-fiction books. I can never bring myself to completing a non-fiction book not because it wasn’t written properly or it’s not good enough, but because it’s not taking me to another place (in a sense). I would rather read fiction and mystery novels. This helps me escape reality.

I love doing things which momentarily helps me forget about anything real and helps me get engrossed in the said thing that I am doing. Yes, what that thing is varies from person to person. Secretly, I want to learn how to play an instrument for this sole purpose.

Writing is another way of me escaping reality. Finding the words to say, understanding and comprehending what I want to say and finally putting my thoughts to words; gives me the high and helps me escape reality.

Find the things you love. There is nothing like it. Let your mind be dedicated to that one thing for a brief moment. That is in my opinion, the best feeling.

Please share your thoughts. What are the things that you do to escape reality? Hope you have a great Sunday and a great week ahead. See you next Sunday.

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

31. What next?

Dear readers,

It’s true when they say that change is the only thing constant in life. I am a walking-talking example of change because my life changes on a regular basis. I don’t have a fixed pattern and I don’t think I ever will. And I love that about my life.

Steve Jobs once said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect the dots looking backwards. So you will have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in the future.

So, now looking back, every major change in my life has always started with me reading a phrase/sentence or someone telling me a phrase/sentence that sparks something in me and eventually leads to a major change in life.

The first major change that happened, was when I was extremely low, mildly depressed and had zero self-esteem. Someone told me then that with time everything will be alright. And with time, I’ll learn how to be perfectly fine with who I am and with time I’ll be happy.

And with time, I did eventually learn how to be happy.

Once I’d learnt that, a few weeks later, when I was having a deep conversation with somebody we got to talking about the people in our life and how important it is to have the right set of persons by your side. And how the right set of persons are an important factor to that said search of happiness.

And once I realised who really matters and who are on my priority list, life became much simpler and my happiness meter went up a notch.

After a few months, I felt something was lacking. And when discussed, someone told me that maybe I need to more with my time and be more productive and have a few things to do on a daily basis. I started doing more. I enrolled in a few classes. Some long term. Some short term. I try to keep myself busy as much as I can.

Now, that everything seems fine and everything feels right, I heard this line that struck a chord. That line goes like this – “if you feel like you are doing something right for a long period of time, then you’re doing something wrong”.

Which brings me to my next quest. What am I doing wrong? Where have I gone wrong? What should I do now? What should I do differently? What should I change about my life now?

Someone told me to hang in there and continue doing whatever it is I am doing. And put more effort in things that I’m already doing. Agreed. Maybe more effort is what I need to focus on. But that is where my head is at. Let’s see how putting in effort plays out in connecting the dots. That’s all for this week. Please share your thoughts on this blog. Have a great week ahead.

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.