85. Day Two

WhatsApp Image 2020-03-19 at 18.16.16 (1)Dear Readers,

I think I will stick to the daily pattern of blogging followed by most bloggers. I’ll post about a particular day the next day so I can blog about the whole day and not miss out about the later part of the day and what I’m doing then.

The featured picture of this blog was taken ages ago and I love this picture so much. Just looking at this picture puts me at ease instantly. I understand that I’m not really that great at clicking pictures but I’m learning everyday and I’m trying to get better at them.

My day two of being quarantined was extremellyyyyyyy boring. There were moments in the day where I literally just sat down and stared at the wall not knowing what to do. I did a few chores in the house though and I cleaned my bookshelf. I arranged my bookshelf in accordance to the books I want to finish reading by the end of this year. Which I hopefully do. I spent hours on the phone talking to my close friends which was fun and something I enjoyed a lot. I still have a lot of things to do but I’m just procrastinating them so I can do them slowly everyday.

I realised something really important. I mean I always knew the importance of properly worded sentences but I never really implemented it in my life for some reason. I have always been the one who just says things abruptly without really worrying about the consequences or understanding how that would impact another human being. Because I was always under the impression that I’m telling them what I feel, unfiltered.

I learnt yesterday how important it is for a human being to form properly worded sentences and how important it is to not put your feelings on another human feeling because feelings are subjective. They are not truly fully responsible for making you feel the way you do. You have a hand to play in your own feelings as well. It is important to let the other person understand how you’re feeling and you’re entitled to let them know how you feel, but that’s about it. It was quite cool that I understood this yesterday!

I hope things get better soon. What are you all doing at home? What do you think about this blog? Leave your views in the comment section below. Hope you all are safe and are not ill. Take care and be happy!

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

84. Day One

WhatsApp Image 2020-03-19 at 18.16.16Dear Readers,

To be honest the last few days were spent panicking about my attendance because of the number of sick leaves I’d taken and sorting out the notes I’d missed. I was internally going through two issues that took me a while understand. When I finally did, I didn’t speak about it with anyone and I kept it to myself.

I could slowly start seeing the change in my behaviour because I was getting more and more frustrated with everyone around me. And I didn’t like that I was changing. So what I did was I said both those issues to people I trust. And to be honest that was so bloody liberating. I’m so so glad that I finally opened up and told someone what I’m feeling. My biggest fear now is that nothing will be done now that I opened up about it.

Apart from that, you all obviously know about the CoronaVirus. You all understand how scary this is. I hope you all are safe and are taking all the precautionary measures. I hope you or nobody you know are affected by it. I’m sorry if they are and I hope they get better soon.

Since I live in India, the number of people infected are luckily quite less in comparison to a few other countries. I hope the numbers don’t change and start reducing in India and the rest of the world.

So I had college till yesterday (mainly because I’m a part of a medical college) and from today till at least the end of this month, I won’t have to go to college.

I was kinda gutted that I’ll have to stay home because it’s been so long since I’ve stayed at home and not done anything especially for this long. I’ve only stayed at home if I was ill or if I had to study. And honestly I was a little scared because I didn’t want to face my thoughts that I’ve conveniently chosen to suppress all along. But last night, I got a bit drunk and I spoke it all out which lead to my second paragraph of this blog post. It was so liberating and I slept like a baby!

Today is officially my first day of being in the house. I woke a little late. Went to a bookstore and bought a couple of books. Came back and had a tummy filling lunch. I literally sat with the phone on my bed for at least 6 hours and I ended up feeling guilty because I didn’t do much. I watched the Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s address to the nation regarding COVID-19.

I have a lot of things to do, I procrastinated them all and ended up doing nothing. It was by far the most boring day I’ve had in a long time. I hope things get better soon. And I hope I learn to fight the boredom and fight for things in general.

That’s all for today. Please tell me how things are at your place and how are you doing in the comment section below. Stay safe and try to be as healthy as possible. Loads of love and positive vibes being sent your way.

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.

82. Graduation Week

PhotoGrid_1581322639093Dear readers,

This above picture was taken a long long time back when I had attended a workshop on photography that was organised by my college. This was the best picture of that day. I remember quite well that I didn’t really know how to click pictures and I was meddling with the settings on my camera and I ended up clicking this beautiful picture. This is one picture that I’m most proud of.

With regards to the week that went by, I’m still struggling with finding the motivation to do anything. All I want to do is sit and while away time. I have started working out (15 minutes a day at home). My sleep is getting better, I’m able to get at least 5-7 hours of sleep everyday. My appetite is also increasing. So things are not worse than last month and in fact taking a turn for the better.

Things that are priority for me this month are studying, reading books, working out and reducing social media usage. It’ll be the best month if I do these four things on a daily basis starting day after tomorrow (from 12th February).

In my previous blog (blog#81) I mentioned that I have my graduation in February. So my graduation is tomorrow (11th February). I’ll be getting my Bachelor’s of Science degree in Psychology. I didn’t get the marks because I didn’t work for them and I’m working towards not making the same mistakes in my PG. I’m ecstatic because I learnt a lot of things in this college where I did my bachelors. People claim that school is better than college for them but it was the other way around for me. I loved my college. I love the friends I made there (and I’m fully aware of the fact that they’re not going to be with me throughout my life but the memories I’ve made with them will be something nobody can take away). I like who I became after joining that college. I love my professors. So no, no regrets whatsoever.

Let’s hope that tomorrow and the next few weeks of this month goes by really well. Hope you all had a good week and hope you all have an amazing week ahead. Let me know thoughts in the comment section below.

Regards,
Realistic Beginner.